In January 2023 I started a conversations project during an art residency, where I realised I find it easier to initiate and have conversations if I paint at the same time. Each person is someone I am interested to have a conversation with. Whilst there might be particular things I would like to talk about with them, I don’t have questions planned in advance and what happens is organic. Whilst we speak, I paint. What I share here is the painted/drawn outcome of the conversation. Afterwards, I write up my reflections about my experience of the conversation. Then, they go into my gallery of conversations, which you have found yourself in here…
On the final morning of the Samphire Hoe Solstice residency, we were having a pollinating pilgrimage, lead by Nicolás (who I had a painting conversation with the day before). A few ideas had been floated over the weekend about what might happen during this walk. Would each artist be in a particular place, visited by the group? Were members of the public going to join? Would we all go around together with some people running ahead when we got to their “bit”.
We had left our Airbnb a bit late and had quite a rushed journey from Deal, through Dover and to Samphire Hoe. I was feeling hot and flustered. As relaxed as Luke had made us feel about the weekend, we were working and being late didn’t feel ok. On the journey, someone in our car was on a call to her phone provider, trying to work out whether her insurance covered her dropping her phone in the toilet the night before. The call ended just as we entered the strange tunnel which is the entrance to Samphire Hoe.
I’d woken up that morning after a second night of very bad sleep, feeling anxious with myself that I hadn’t “done enough” during the residency. I hadn’t painted enough. I hadn’t spent enough time with people. I hadn’t shared enough of myself. The not enoughness is familiar.
When we got there, people were gathered around and I spoke to Nicolás about his plan. I realised I liked the idea of sitting painting somewhere and people would come across me as part of the walk. However, he suggested that I have a painting conversation with the group and I liked that idea, too. I went to the tower to sit in the shade and get all of my art materials out of my bag. 50 oil pastels and loads of little tubes of acrylic paint. Steve helped me bring the board with my previous painting conversations, to lean against the tower.
The group gradually gathered. I actually got really cold as it was so windy up there. I couldn’t believe I was shivering on one of the hottest days of the year. I wished I could bottle the temperature for later when I’d be in a car or a building, wishing for cold water or a breeze.
Nicolás was getting changed in the tower. Steve was asked to take his clothes elsewhere. Someone else was on hand to help him get into his costume. I wasn’t sure whether to start painting as we were already in some kind of conversation, as we waited. But I liked the idea of it having an official start that we were all aware of.
Nicolás emerged from the tower. He was a white shimmering spectacle. Sort of like a big jellyfish angel on land. I loved looking at him. He asked us some questions to help us slow down and notice what we were feeling in our bodies. He asked people what their intention was for the journey and asked them to tell me them. I started painting. I knew I wanted to paint a big blue sky, feeling the windy wind.
He asked what we’d like to bring with us and I thought of my aunt Jill who has been on my mind a lot recently.
I thought we were going to stay for a while and have more of a conversation but he soon invited us to start walking. I packed up my art stuff as quickly as possible, with help from Luke and Steve. I decided to hold onto my (wet) painting and take the big pack of oil pastels with me on the journey, thinking I’d continue when we had paused.
I loved following Nicolás and listening to him talk. I loved how slowly he walked. I usually have two paces of walking; very fast and rushing or a slow gentle pace. This was even slower and I needed to keep reminding myself to notice my feet. Sometimes he would stop and invite us to listen to something or do something or interact with someones installation. When that happened, I would stop and sit on the floor and draw. Often I would draw things from things people said or that I saw; a bird and a crab from a story Steve told, an instrument Haru was playing. When we went to the beach I went straight down to the sea and splashed water all over what I’d drawn. I liked the idea of the painting stinking of the sea.
Nicolás asked us to head back to the main site on our own, each having our own journey. So I sat on the beach for a bit and drew more and actually finished the piece, though I didn’t know that at the time. I walked back in my slow pace. I had to hold the painting out in front of me with the oil pastels underneath like I was gripping onto a drinks board. It meant I spent the walk looking at the drawing a lot and thinking about how I liked it. I wondered what it would be like to do that walk looking at something I really didn’t like.
I really loved this experience. It reminded me of how much I love having a role of drawing or painting whilst I’m in a group. It helps me tap into my ‘on the edge’ nature but also interact with the group and connect to myself and others in a way I find comfortable and enjoyable. I also really liked this new experiment of a painting conversation in a group, and wondered if there are other times/ways I would like to do that.
I also had a conversation with one of the rangers, when I was nearly back at the main site, and he asked me about what I’d been doing and about the gallery of conversations. I talked about how I like drawing attention to things going on in groups which might be more subtle. I liked talking about it. He talked about how he notices little things going on with people, too. He asked about ideas of ways to get started with being more creative and we chatted about that with Steve. I really like people seeing my art or process or talking to me and it making them want to try something similar for them. Each time it surprises me and I feel touched by the connection with them.
I felt a bit disappointed we didn’t all come together again at the end of the pilgrimage, even in silence, I missed having an official together-ending.
Some of the artists that took part in the Bee Friendly Trust Solstice Celebration and Pollinating Pilgrimage were: Niamh Jones ~ British Events ~ Steve Chapman ~ Jo Wood ~ Justine Rogers ~ Beth Baylis ~ Carina Graham ~ Samphire Steve ~ Sarah Ainslie ~ Mark Carberry ~ Bláth Ní Mhurchú ~ Isabelle Laight ~ Haru Apa Nyx ~ Nicolás Dumit Estévez Raful Espejo Ovalles Morel ~ and students from The Royal College of Art