In January 2023 I started a conversations project during an art residency, where I realised I find it easier to initiate and have conversations if I paint at the same time. Each person is someone I am interested to have a conversation with. Whilst there might be particular things I would like to talk about with them, I don’t have questions planned in advance and what happens is organic. Whilst we speak, I paint. What I share here is the painted/drawn outcome of the conversation. Afterwards, I write up my reflections about my experience of the conversation. Then, they go into my gallery of conversations, which you have found yourself in here…
This conversation was during TRACES festival – a one day art event in Tower Hamlets Cemetery organised by nomer collective, which I’ve shared another conversation from, here.. It was absolutely tipping it down with rain and I made shelter using a small tarp and precariously-balanced sticks. I wrote this in the notes app, during the event. I’ve decided not to edit it at all.
Whilst Willow and Sarah and I were talking I found a snail in my backpack and I took it out and put it on the ground and then it went over my palette and paint ursh holder so I watched it and videod it and noticed it’s secondary pointy things which I haven’t noticed for a long time.
Sadly the snail left so this one doesn’t feel like much of a conversation with the snail but it made me think about how I’ve approached this event.
Start with what I want (being comfortable in the rain in the woods). Start with body feeling comfortable, rather than starting with what I need to do or how I need to be. Took the tarp, bought a groundsheet. Got snacks. Changed the description of what I was doing after learning from Samphire Hoe.
Going at my pace. Not trying to produce lots. Feeling like I needed to have lots of paintings to display but resisting that urge.
Not saying too much about what something will be, beforehand. The bare minimum to give maximum flexibility. Don’t over promise. I’m enough. What I’ll do there will happen and will be enough. I wonder how differently it would have felt if I was being paid – would like to think I’d resist the urge to go back into ignoring my needs / focusing on the need of self worth through approval from others.