In January 2023 I started a conversations project during an art residency, where I realised I find it easier to initiate and have conversations if I paint at the same time. Each person is someone I am interested to have a conversation with. Whilst there might be particular things I would like to talk about with them, I don’t have questions planned in advance and what happens is organic. Whilst we speak, I paint. What I share here is the painted/drawn outcome of the conversation. Afterwards, I write up my reflections about my experience of the conversation. Then, they go into my gallery of conversations, which you have found yourself in here…
I met Haru on the first day of the Samphire Hoe Summer Solstice event and I liked talking to her and felt interested to have a painting conversation with her. She mentioned the art she would be making was about orchids which are pollinated by a single type of bee, by pretending to be the bee. The bee mates with the flower, thinking it’s a lovely other bee, and through this pollinates the orchids.
In the morning of our full day, when Steve and I were hot and a bit stressy about getting set up, I saw her emerge from the building in an amazing outfit. A mesh bodysuit and a big bee and orchid appendage and a strange musical instrument. She didn’t speak to anyone, and wandered out into the fields of the Hoe. I have a really short video of her walking past the building, and I love how strange and ‘just right’ it looks at the same time.
Later, I saw her on the busy beach, still in costume. She stood and played her instrument near where people were making a big bee made of stones. I was lower down on the beach and again, really enjoyed the surrealism of seeing her there, doing her bee orchid thing.
Later, she came down the beach again, out of costume, and the three of us cooled down and had a swim and looked for crabs (she found a dead spider crab, a child helped me find a big velvet crab and then Steve found a little velvet crab and told us about them).
I asked if she’d like to have a painting conversation and she said yes. We decided to head back to the visitor centre to find some shade. On the walk back, Haru and I chatted about the gallery of conversations and she found a beautiful moth. She asked questions, including how do I/we know when it has finished, which is something I can find difficult and interesting about the conversations. I liked talking to her. It felt easy and nice. I liked feeling her interest in my project.
Then we got back we went to the tower and sat in the shade. The tower is an art installation, looking out to the sea and France. I realised we only had about 20 minutes before Steve’s stick painting workshop so I felt a bit rushed.
We talked about being known on the internet and having an art ‘persona’. This is something I’ve been thinking about lots since working more with children. I don’t know what feels ok for me, for the parents or even the kids themselves, to see about me online. It feels much less straightforward now. I like talking to people who think about this too, in their work and what they share online. I still am unsure though, about what to do. I’ll just work this out gradually, I guess.
I noticed I didn’t really like the thing I was painting and I kept doing similar shapes to the previous painting conversations I’d had that day, with Steve and Nicolás. When it was time to head back, I said I didn’t know if I was done and she said we could keep chatting after the workshop. I liked that idea, but I didn’t want to keep going until I liked the painting. Especially as that pressure/motivation probably meant I never would. I’d rather be okay with not liking how something came out, than do that. I also realised I wanted validation from other people (including Haru) that they liked it, so I could feel better about it.
It felt nice sitting in the shade and cooling down and chatting and I didn’t really want to leave. We came back and I made a Samphire Hoe gallery of conversations sign on the old chalkboard I’d got from the junk pile that morning. Then I realised what I wanted to add to what I’d done so far, so I went ahead and made the changes. It was a really unsure thing for me as I felt like the RULES are that I only paint/draw when I’m having the conversation… But as she was sitting nearby painting a stick I decided we were sort of still in conversation.
I showed it to her and I realised I had written something differently to what I meant to write, and so I asked if she would like to add the “UN” to “UNHAPPY”. She did.
I had originally thought that during this residency I would be set up somewhere and people could come along to have a painting conversation with me and I’d repeat that over the weekend with lots of people. I realised quite quickly that I need to feel the urge to have a conversation with someone, for this to work for me. I needed to feel some control about who I would have the conversation with and the urge to follow interest. All three conversations that I had were with people I had spoken to and wanted to speak to more. I have an event coming up (TRACES) where I had planned to be set up and people could approach me for a painting conversation, but I’ve now changed the plan for me to have conversations with creatures, growing things and graves, and if I meet someone I would like to sit and speak with for longer, I’ll ask them.
I am enjoying this process of having an ongoing project where I learn what works better or worse for me and tweaking it or trying out different things or realising what is most important to me, as I go.
To find out more about Haru and her work, you can go to her instagram or her website.